


Two Years

by QOona



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jealousy, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 23:26:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18158420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QOona/pseuds/QOona
Summary: The Force reopens the Bond two years after Crait. Kylo is not entirely happy with what he sees. A lot has been left unsaid, but has a lot changed?  Kylo's POV.





	Two Years

It’s been two years. Two years of ruling the Galaxy, of reforms, of crushing self-doubt, of rebuilding himself, two years of going to bed every night hoping that maybe _tomorrow_ he would see her again.

Two years since Kylo Ren last felt that strange magnetic pull in his skull, the one that made his heart want to jump out of his ribcage with excitement.

Finally, _finally_ , there she was, clutching a small bundle, looking _so serene, so Light, so beautiful_ … His Rey, his Rey whose eyes widened upon noticing him, his Jedi protector who gracefully jumped from her chair and laid her non-dominant hand on the hilt of her saber - apparently she had somehow fixed it, clutching the bundle somewhat tighter with her right.

It hurt, but it was what Kylo had expected, if he were being honest. He always knew that if the Force would take pity on him and reconnect him with the woman he yearned for, it would not play out like in his fantasies, where she regularly welcomed him into her loving arms, into her life, and into her bed.

He would hurry to try and calm her down if their encounter were entirely real. Hours spent analyzing their previous Force bond sessions had lead Kylo to believe that the Force would keep them connected for as long as it was necessary for a certain exchange of feelings and information to occur, and disconnect them only once it was satisfied. His conviction even made him tempted to stall, not speak for as long as he could afford not to, but simply admire the one that he adored and that plagued his mind, even after all that time, for as long as possible.

However, he also knew that the longer he took, the longer Rey would have to gather her anger, and that then her words would leave him with a larger than necessary hole in his chest. The small delay was useful though, as he did not act on his first impulse to tactlessly shout that there was no need to panic.

Instead, he spoke barely above a whisper. “Please, don’t run, I will not harm you”, he followed Rey’s gaze, and feeling his stomach drop, added, “nor the baby.”

Whether due to her expression alternating from angry to scared to doubtful, whether due to the Force bond, or to the nights where sleep would not come easily, Kylo had a pretty good guess about what she wanted to say. Parts of various speeches that he had prepared in case they would meet again started seeping out of him.

"I know. I know what I have done. There is no right way for me to apologize to you. I have betrayed your trust, just like people had betrayed mine. It's been two years, I have had time to think... Alone in my head. No more Snoke interfering. It's just me now."

In the fantasies, the speech that he would give always seemed grand, not clipped and awkward, but somehow, despite having had plenty of practice when it comes to making powerful declarations due to his new ruling position, that was all that he could manage. He judged it unwise to speak about his hurt, at least for the moment.

Inhaling deeply, the Supreme Leader who was in that moment barely feeling the ruler of himself, let alone anything or anyone else, gathered the courage to take a few slow steps towards the still bewildered Rey, who was gradually getting deeper into her small lunge, ready to strike if needed. Kylo decided that it was time to confess, leaving himself no room for escape should she wish to pierce his chest with her blade.

“I have missed you. So much Rey.”

The words, as well as the tears he could feel gathering in his eyes, must have had an effect on her, as her muscles noticeably relaxed, and her hand left the lightsaber and hesitantly rejoined its twin, choosing peace.

She fixed her posture and swallowed thickly. The sound that initially came out of her throat sounded like a whimper, her voice hesitant, trying to settle on the right words.

“I was hoping to see you again.” Then she added, almost inaudibly and as if addressing the floor of the small bedroom that they were in, “In person, not on the holonet.”

Kylo could feel a smirk forming, as he briefly entertained himself by wondering if what he had just heard would have been the equivalent of confessing undying love for the repressed Jedi, not that Rey ever had a chance of fully becoming one. The feeling was fleeting, as his eyes snapped back to the baby whose arm peaked out from behind a worn-out clumpy gray blanket it was enveloped in, probably the best that the rebels could afford, having lost much of their support. He noticed the small sleeping face's skin color, and felt a familiar pang of jealousy.

Shortly after Crait, his rage still unchecked, he spent many nights fuming and staring at the picture of the man he suspected was the child’s father, drawn from the First Order’s database, swearing revenge, sometimes drunkenly, always with his sword out. The new Supreme Leader had suspected that a big part of the woman he was hopelessly in love's refusal to stay and rule by his side was her emotional tie to FN-2187, having sensed her fondness of the Stormtrooper during the interrogation on Starkiller.

Turns out he might have been right.

Two years ago, he probably would have given a sarcastic comment, told Rey that if she just kept hoping and imagining a man for herself, a porg might bring her another baby.

He had grown past that.

Kylo reached out with his mind, then found Rey’s wary hazel eyes, that unsuccessfully tried to hide that they had been lingering on his lips, before he spoke past the lump in his throat.

“She does not have the Force... Life is probably simpler that way. At least for now. Maybe she will also have an awakening, later in life”, he added while trying to imitate a genuine smile, hoping to convince himself as much as her that he could unselfishly simply be happy for her.

Rey’s reaction confused him. She seemed to flush, her freckles lost in the redness of her cheeks, as she nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other, and back.

“Well...”, the young woman cleared her throat, “Neither of her parents have the Force, so...”

Kylo couldn’t help it. He chuckled, relief washing over him, relaxing the tension in his shoulders, apparently surprising Rey, who had never heard that sound coming from him before. All that he could manage was a small “oh”, in his giddiness.

Not having seen Rey for so long, _too long_ , made every little hint that she still might have some affection left for him in her heart, no matter how deeply buried or how small, made him feel alive again. Her wish to clarify that the baby was not hers and her being flustered at the implication of being with another man gave Kylo hope. His heart and soul would feed off of this exchange for days and weeks.

Suddenly, his scalp started tingling, indicating that the Force will transport him back to his quarters soon. Rey must have felt it too, as she parted her lips to speak. He was faster.

“Rey, we do not have much time left. Please do not shut me out again.” A gloved hand reached out to brush her cheek, but before it managed to make contact, he found himself alone in the bleakness and blackness of his own bedroom. A soft echo reverberated in his skull.

“I won’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's been WAY MORE than two years since my last fanfic.  
> And yes, it is a Finn x Rose's baby, those two are so cute together! :D  
> I have probably made some mistakes, I will fix them when/if I notice them/when someone brings my attention to them.
> 
> ANY feedback is welcome, thanks for reading! ;))


End file.
